To read Chapter 1 of Guerrilla Bride, see below.
Published: 2016 |
Published: 2015 |
Published: 2013 |
Published 2012 |
Published: 2012 |
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Chapter 1
Emerson Sharp’s life had changed abruptly and dramatically the day after his tenth birthday. That was the day Paw had taken him away from Maw. Emerson was almost eighteen now, and he hadn’t thought about what had happened back then for a very long time. But his brother John was almost nine, and he’d begun to wonder if Paw’d take him too, come next year. Emerson couldn’t ask. His father told a thing when he was ready. Most of the time, he never got ready to tell.
Dredged-up memories of his first day as Paw’s field hand did not make Emerson smile.
He remembered that gruff voice busting into his sleep as if it came from the bottom of a well.
“What?” he’d asked.
“Git up, I said.”
Emerson sat up in bed, rubbing sleep from his eyes and squinting at the huge dark figure holding back the blanket hung over the door, backlit by a kitchen lantern like a hulking bogeyman.
“Tomorra’,” Paw said, “you best not make me say ‘git up’ twict.”
Out in the field that morning, the first thing Paw had him do was shoot at a stump. Emerson raised the heavy musket and squinted his aiming eye down the barrel right into the rising sun. He lowered the weapon.
“Sun’s in my eye.”
He began moving to put the eye-blurring rays to the side.
“Stop,” Paw barked. “Like as not when it’s time to shoot a deer, bear, or Injin, the sun’s gonna be in yore eyes. Git back there an’ shoot that stump.”
At his original spot, sunrays sliced through leaves and tree branches. He couldn’t look directly at his target. Besides squinting, he had to turn his head to the side and view the stump out of the corner of his eye. He raised the heavy weapon, and the end of the barrel wobbled all around that stump. Emerson gritted his teeth, made that barrel pass through the target, and he fired.
He wound up sitting on his butt, rubbing his sore shoulder. Paw stood over him, raining silent disapproval. Emerson stood up, still massaging where the gun butt smacked him.
“Listen. Hold it tight to yore shoulder. Don’t close yore eyes when you fire. The gun is too heavy for you to hold steady, and you let it wobble all over the place. An’ you jerked the trigger. Squeeze it. Smooth like. Now clean the dirt outta the barrel an’ reload. Then shoot that consarned stump.”
His next shot went high.
“I did like you said. But as the gun barrel lowered, I thought it was dropping too fast, and I fired too soon.”
“Don’t you never let me hear you complain. Ever agin. Complainin’s the biggest waste a time they is. Now you shoot that stump, or I’ll whip you.”
His next ball hit short of the target.
“I’ll hit it the next round.”
“We ain’t got no more time, no more powder an’ ball to waste. Git over here.”
Paw sat on the stump, grabbed Emerson by the arm, and said, “You bawl when I whip you, an’ I’ll keep whippin’ till you stop.”
When Paw laid him across his knees and the belt across his buttocks the first time, Emerson jerked, but he kept his jaws clamped shut. At the end, his eyes were wet and he could feel his cheeks and lips twitching around. But he did not bawl.
“Tomorra’,” Paw said. “You hit that stump with the first ball, or you git anuther whuppin’.”
Through the rest of his first day in the field, Paw passed on his instructions. When they stopped work to eat sandwiches, Emerson found out the rules laid down for him did not necessarily apply to his father.
“God sure screwed some things up when He made the world,” Paw said before he bit off a chunk, chewed, swallowed, and drank from the water jug. Then he looked to see if Emerson was paying attention. “God separated light from dark and spread them out even over a day. Then He said, ‘By the sweat of your brow shall you eat bread.’ Hell, if He’d a said the sweat thing first, He’d a seen we needed more than twelve hours a daylight.”
Another bite, more chewing and swallowing, and “You know what’ll happen if you say what I said to yore maw?”
Emerson knew.
Late in the afternoon, as they turned furrows across a recently cleared field, Emerson walked in front of Paw with his hands up on the handles in front of his father’s. The plowshare jammed into tree roots that hadn’t been dug out, and the chain traces snapped. Paw said some words Emerson had never heard before.
Before Paw took him, Emerson stayed around the house, did lessons with Maw and chores for her. He gathered eggs, fed the pigs and chickens, hoed weeds in the garden, and entertained his baby brother, John. And he asked her about words he didn’t understand when he did his readings in the Bible. It never occurred to him to ask Paw the meaning of a word. At supper after that first day in the field, as she was about to serve cobbler, he asked his mother about the new words he’d heard.
“Emerson!” Maw screeched and dropped the dessert pan, which set baby John to howling.
She left the mess on the floor, grabbed Emerson by the arm, dragged him over to the counter where she washed dishes, soaped up a dishrag, and scrubbed his lips and tongue. Eight years later, Emerson’s taste buds still remembered that lye soap in his mouth. And, too, his buttocks had never forgotten Paw’s belt whipping them just short of bleeding, which had happened first thing in the field the next morning. Never mind the words he’d asked about had come from Paw’s tongue, passed through his lips, though Maw thought they came from the boys Emerson hung around with after church services.
Prior to his tenth birthday, Emerson talked to Maw about all manner of things. Meanings of words from his daily reading in the Bible being one of them, but once he became Paw’s field hand, he was afraid to say much to her. Besides, John—he was named after the disciple Jesus loved, not the baptizer—was beginning to say words, and Maw acted like it was a full-time job speaking with him. And it was John she carried and later walked hand in hand with every day, rain or shine, to the white-picket-fenced-off plot behind the house to pray over the four small wooden crosses.
1 1 1 1
8 8 8 8
A B E L R U T H I S A A C D A N I E L
4 4 4 5
4 6 8 0
Maw never spoke of those four little ones to Emerson. He wondered if she spoke to John about them.
*
The smell of breakfast meat in the skillet woke Emerson. Bacon. And potatoes and eggs fried in the grease.
Emerson got up and trekked to the outhouse. It was the same way every morning began since those first couple of days almost eight years ago. Whenever he thought about it, which wasn’t often, he expected every morning to start that way far ahead as he could see. The only thing that might change was what happened to John after his tenth birthday. Of course, he knew Paw’s rules were not like the commandments, written on stone tablets and applying to everyone. Maw was awfully attached to John. She wouldn’t have any more babies. Emerson heard the women talking when he’d been nine, John was an infant, and the women were there for Wednesday tea and cake.
Emerson wondered what would happen to his brother as he walked to and from the outhouse. His days were filled with working, eating, shaving, sleeping, and not much wondering. John’s future would unfold soon enough.
Emerson washed his hands in the basin on the porch and went inside.
“Tuesday,” Maw remarked as she placed the coffeepot on the trivet on the table between Paw and Emerson.
She kept track of the days of the week and looked forward to Wednesday with her circle of women friends and especially to Sunday. Paw saw Sunday approaching and worked Emerson and himself harder to make up for losing a whole day in the field.
“Say the blessing,” she said.
Emerson did and then poured a cup for Paw and one for himself.
Paw sipped, replaced the cup on the saucer, leaned back as if he had all the time in the world, and stared at Emerson with a funny little smile on his face. Paw had never acted like this before. Emerson sat forward. He noticed some gray hairs above his father’s ears in the black hair Maw kept cut short. That smile of his crinkled up a passel of wrinkles at the corners of his eyes. He couldn’t understand how those things had happened to his father without him noticing. Emerson gulped a mouthful of coffee.
“Boy,” Paw said. “Time for you to get married.”
Emerson snorted coffee out his nose and set to coughing.
Paw rounded the table and pounded him on the back. Maw ran from the sink, drying her hands on her apron.
When the coughing fit quit, Maw wiped up the table with a flour sack dish towel. Paw told him to take a bath, cut a handful of flowers from the garden, put on his go-to-church clothes, and call on Deborah Simmons.
“You court her ever’ day until Saturday. Saturday’s yore weddin’ day.”
As Paw grinned at him, Emerson thought of the gaggle of young men that huddled after church services to size up the girls. The less attractive ones were characterized finally as “Least she ain’t plain as Deborah Simmons.” In that moment, Emerson saw himself as the laughingstock of Terre Haute—hell, the entire state of Indiana—and for the rest of his life.
“Deborah Simmons! For Christ’s sake, Paw!”
Maw slapped the back of his head for blaspheming, and Paw clouded like a July thunderstorm boiling up, a living mountain high as heaven and full of black anger flashing fire.
Paw said go, so Emerson went.
Emerson had no idea Paw coveted the Simmons farm, but it was plain as could be that’s what it was. Leastwise, now it was plain.
The Simmonses were a hard-luck bunch. Well, they used to be a bunch.
The Simmonses had three boys: Amos, Bartholomew, and Casper. And they had Deborah.
A few years back, when the oldest Simmons boy, Amos, didn’t come in from the field for midday dinner, the middle son, Bartholomew, went looking and found him lying next to a stump he’d been digging out. Amos had a hole from a musket ball over his heart. Around the hole a patch of shirt had burned. Bartholomew fetched his paw.
“Had his hands up when the bastard shot him,” Old Man Simmons grumbled.
“Amos’s hands are at his side,” the youngest, Casper, pointed out.
“That’s how he fell. Look at his shirt,” Old Man Simmons barked. “Musket bore was touching his chest when it was fired. If a gun barrel was to your chest, wouldn’t you raise your hands?”
Bartholomew picked up a tattered, rotted boot, the loose sole of which was tied to the toe with a rag. “Shot Amos for his boots.”
A mile to the west of the Wabash River, the Simmons men caught up to a skinny man with wild gray whiskers and black eyes with no soul in them. He was dressed in rags held together with twine. Wore nice boots, though. He also had a pair of draft horses tethered next to his camp. It was the team Amos had been using to pull chopped loose stumps.
They hanged the man. But only after Old Man Simmons had them tie the man’s arms to the workhorses and pull until one came off at the shoulder.
A year later, Casper found the remains of Bartholomew in the woods near the edge of the field he’d been planting. By the sign, it appeared Bart had gone in the woods to relieve himself, without taking the shotgun with him, and stumbled across a bear and two cubs.
Casper started having nightmares. He was unable to sleep at night. He could not close his eyes without seeing Bartholomew with his belly torn open, his guts strung across the ground, and his face ripped off, and seeing, also, a one-armed man hanging from a White Oak tree. Only after a rooster crowed could he slip into a semblance of sleep. One morning, Old Man Simmons found his last son in the barn. He’d hanged himself.
Shortly after that, Mrs. Simmons died. “Of a broken heart,” people said.
“I’m a dead man, my own self,” Old Man Simmons told people. “My body just don’t know it yet.”
Simmons had had enough of farming in Indiana. He intended to ride west. All the way. “Until the Pacific Ocean tells me I cain’t go no further.” He had to get his remaining child, Deborah, settled first, though.
It was clear as could be, all right. After Emerson married Deborah, Paw would add the Simmons farm to his own. Doubling his acreage.
Double the work too, Emerson thought as he rode the riding horse across fields to the Simmons place. Working as his father’s field hand, or draft animal, or slave, or whatever he was had been hard enough with the smaller farm. Then he pictured what people would say when they found out he was marrying Deborah.
“Maybe, Horse,” he mumbled to the beast carrying him, “Paw’ll work me to death, and it’ll be over soon.”
As he looped the reins of the riding horse around the porch post, Deborah stepped out of the house. Emerson held the flowers out to her. “Take ’em,” Old Man Simmons growled. “Take ’em inside. Put ’em in a vase. With water.”
Deborah had her brown hair in a bun, like old women did. Her face wasn’t hard to look at, but it was not a happy face. She glared at Emerson, snatched the flowers, and went back inside the house.
Mr. Simmons told Emerson to take one of the chairs on the porch and asked him a few questions about his maw and paw and the Sharp farm. Then he was out of words. Deborah returned and sat in the remaining chair between her father and Emerson. Her lips were pressed tight together into a straight line. Words weren’t going to escape through those lips. The silence sat uncomfortable and heavy on the porch. Emerson couldn’t dredge up a thing to say, though. Old Man Simmons sat there, leaning back, his legs stretched out in front of him, and chewed on a straw. After an hour, Deborah went inside to dish up midday dinner. Her father and Emerson turned his horse loose in the corral and washed up.
The meal was silent too, except for the clinking of silverware on pots and dishes. The two men cleaned their plates off while she pushed pieces of pot roast around hers with her fork as if the meat made her angry.
After dessert, the men returned to the porch while Deborah cleaned up. When she returned to the porch, Mr. Simmons said, “I got work. You two sit here.”
They sat. She didn’t say a word. He was tongue-tied. After a time of just sitting there, he glanced at her.
She seemed to throw off a chill, like when a person stood next to a block of ice. At the same time, he thought the anger showing on her face was as hot as a red horseshoe with a blacksmith whanging away at it. She wasn’t ugly. He was sure she’d look better if she loosened up some, stop pressing her lips so tightly together. Those lips slashed across her face and made her nose look sharp and pointy. The sun had colored her smooth cheeks. Emerson liked the line of her jaw. He thought it might be nice to run his fingers over her cheek and along her jaw.
She turned her head, and it was as if her eyes burned a hole in him. He looked away and stared across the packed dirt yard to the barn and across the fields. Paw’s barn was visible from the porch. Emerson noted that Old Man Simmons didn’t keep his property up the way Paw did. The barn needed paint. The fence around the sty sagged with posts rotted at the base. His estimate of the amount of work to be done on Paw’s new property went up. He shook his head.
Then he noticed the fenced-off cemetery plot, just like the one on Paw’s farm. Like Paw’s, the Simmons plot had four graves too. The three boys and their mother. A lot of bad luck had visited the Simmons family. Emerson hoped all that bad luck was buried there too. Deep.
After a long time, he snuck another peek at her profile. She was as the boys at church said of her. “Plain straight up an’ down.” She was flat-chested, and that was God’s own truth.
She swung those eyes onto him again. He forced himself to not look away.
“I ’spect, Miss Deborah, you don’t want to be here neither?”
“Either,” she said.
“What?”
“‘You don’t want to be here either?’ That’s the proper way to phrase your interrogative.”
“That’s what I said.”
“The horse you rode over here has more education than you do.”
Horse had dropped a pile of biscuits in the yard before they’d taken him to the corral. He caught a whiff of the smell. Horse manure, just then, carried a more pleasant aroma than the lilac water Deborah smelled of.
You court her ever day until Saturday. Saturday’s yore weddin’ day, Paw’d said.
“This how it’s going to be, being married to you, Miss Deborah?”
“Until death do us part!”
The look on his intended’s face reminded Emerson of Paw’s bull. “A ton a pure cussed cantankerous, Bull is,” Paw said.
She went into the house and returned shortly with a book. Seated again, she opened it. A tiny smile softened her face as she settled into her reading.
He thought about asking her about the book, to read it aloud, but it was likely it would only earn him a stinging, snotty put-down. He sat up straight on his chair and wondered what had happened to the silence. Before she got her book, the quiet covered the Simmons porch with a big bunch of uncomfortableness. He felt like he had to do something to bust it apart. Now the stillness worked just the opposite way. It lay over him, sort of like when he crawled into bed on a winter night, and the comforter began to keep some of his body heat inside instead of having the cold night suck it out of him.
Silently was the best way to sit with Deborah Simmons.
At supper, Old Man Simmons asked how they were getting along.
“Better than I expected,” Deborah answered.
Mr. Simmons smiled. Emerson thought he was imagining the sun setting into that ocean out west.
When he entered the kitchen at home, Paw looked up from his book of figures he kept on the farm. “How’d you an’ Miss Deborah get along?”
“Better than I expected,” Emerson replied.
Paw smiled. It was as if Paw copied Old Man Simmons’s face exactly.
That night, sleep would not come. Emerson lay on his back and blackness poured into him through his open eyes and filled him with something that made him wonder if maggots were eating him away from the inside.
Roiling in the blackness, an image formed of tomorrow’s dinner with Deborah and her father as the old man smiled at visions of his future. The smile of his poured iodine over Emerson’s totally raw-meat soul. That vision gave way to another, and he saw himself with Deborah day after day after day. Until death do us part.
He wanted to cuss out loud. He knew the words. Some from Paw, some from the boys at church. But he couldn’t say them, not in Maw’s house. Which told him clearly that’s how it would be after the wedding. He’d live in Deborah’s house. At least, he thought, here Maw’s fond of me. At least, he thought, she used to be before Christ’s favorite disciple, John, showed up.
Emerson sighed, mumbled, “Rats!” rolled onto his side, and pulled the pillow over his head as if that could shut up the voices inside. It didn’t work. He saw the crowd of boys, how they would appear come Sunday when he looked at them from outside their circle. He heard what they’d be saying about him being married to Deborah Simmons. It grew hot under the covers, and he pushed them back.
Candace Barlow appeared in his thoughts as suddenly as a clap of thunder from a storm you didn’t know was coming. Candace. Blonde hair in a long ponytail bound with a blue ribbon that exactly matched her eyes. Creamy complexion. Always smiling, showing her white teeth through her full pink lips. And she was not flat-chested.
Thinking about her stirred him, as it always did.
He remembered last Sunday. He’d spoken with her. She was easy to talk to, and she had placed a hand on his arm as she looked right into his eyes. It made his knees weak.
“My room is the add-on one on the ground floor,” she told him.
“I’m a light sleeper,” she told him.
“Paw don’t keep no dogs no more,” she told him.
Emerson tried to swallow, but his mouth was too dry.
The Barlow place was a twenty-minute ride northeast.
Emerson felt his face smile. The smile lasted as long as the blink of a lightning bug.
He would never know how sweet being with Candace Barlow would be. Candace might already know he was engaged to Deborah. She was probably lying in her bed at that very moment thinking about who she’d flirt with on Sunday since by then Emerson would be married.
And there’s not a single solitary thing I can do about it, Emerson thought. I’m just Paw’s field hand. His slave. Another one of his draft horses.
In the blackness above his bed, there had been nothing to see. Now he was seeing his tomorrows, and all of them were bleak and filled with drudgery and sweat, and his sweat smelled like horse sweat. And he lived in the Simmons house with Deborah. And she was cold, but at the same time hot with loathing. “Till death do us part,” she’d said.
Anger flashed blinding bright behind the blackness in his eyes. It was like a nearby lightning strike. He expected to hear a clap of splitting thunder. He counted one potato, two potato.
But it was silent. He lay still and listened. It was so quiet, even the mice and cockroaches had to be asleep.
Emerson swung his legs off the bed, gathered his clothes, and picked up his boots. He stood still and listened.
Then he felt his face smile. He hadn’t been aware he’d made a decision. Sure as shooting, though, he’d made one. He was still smiling as he tiptoed, with his arms full of clothes and boots, out of his room and out the door.
As he dressed on the porch, he thought, I ain’t no consarned draft horse!
Emerson Sharp’s life had changed abruptly and dramatically the day after his tenth birthday. That was the day Paw had taken him away from Maw. Emerson was almost eighteen now, and he hadn’t thought about what had happened back then for a very long time. But his brother John was almost nine, and he’d begun to wonder if Paw’d take him too, come next year. Emerson couldn’t ask. His father told a thing when he was ready. Most of the time, he never got ready to tell.
Dredged-up memories of his first day as Paw’s field hand did not make Emerson smile.
He remembered that gruff voice busting into his sleep as if it came from the bottom of a well.
“What?” he’d asked.
“Git up, I said.”
Emerson sat up in bed, rubbing sleep from his eyes and squinting at the huge dark figure holding back the blanket hung over the door, backlit by a kitchen lantern like a hulking bogeyman.
“Tomorra’,” Paw said, “you best not make me say ‘git up’ twict.”
Out in the field that morning, the first thing Paw had him do was shoot at a stump. Emerson raised the heavy musket and squinted his aiming eye down the barrel right into the rising sun. He lowered the weapon.
“Sun’s in my eye.”
He began moving to put the eye-blurring rays to the side.
“Stop,” Paw barked. “Like as not when it’s time to shoot a deer, bear, or Injin, the sun’s gonna be in yore eyes. Git back there an’ shoot that stump.”
At his original spot, sunrays sliced through leaves and tree branches. He couldn’t look directly at his target. Besides squinting, he had to turn his head to the side and view the stump out of the corner of his eye. He raised the heavy weapon, and the end of the barrel wobbled all around that stump. Emerson gritted his teeth, made that barrel pass through the target, and he fired.
He wound up sitting on his butt, rubbing his sore shoulder. Paw stood over him, raining silent disapproval. Emerson stood up, still massaging where the gun butt smacked him.
“Listen. Hold it tight to yore shoulder. Don’t close yore eyes when you fire. The gun is too heavy for you to hold steady, and you let it wobble all over the place. An’ you jerked the trigger. Squeeze it. Smooth like. Now clean the dirt outta the barrel an’ reload. Then shoot that consarned stump.”
His next shot went high.
“I did like you said. But as the gun barrel lowered, I thought it was dropping too fast, and I fired too soon.”
“Don’t you never let me hear you complain. Ever agin. Complainin’s the biggest waste a time they is. Now you shoot that stump, or I’ll whip you.”
His next ball hit short of the target.
“I’ll hit it the next round.”
“We ain’t got no more time, no more powder an’ ball to waste. Git over here.”
Paw sat on the stump, grabbed Emerson by the arm, and said, “You bawl when I whip you, an’ I’ll keep whippin’ till you stop.”
When Paw laid him across his knees and the belt across his buttocks the first time, Emerson jerked, but he kept his jaws clamped shut. At the end, his eyes were wet and he could feel his cheeks and lips twitching around. But he did not bawl.
“Tomorra’,” Paw said. “You hit that stump with the first ball, or you git anuther whuppin’.”
Through the rest of his first day in the field, Paw passed on his instructions. When they stopped work to eat sandwiches, Emerson found out the rules laid down for him did not necessarily apply to his father.
“God sure screwed some things up when He made the world,” Paw said before he bit off a chunk, chewed, swallowed, and drank from the water jug. Then he looked to see if Emerson was paying attention. “God separated light from dark and spread them out even over a day. Then He said, ‘By the sweat of your brow shall you eat bread.’ Hell, if He’d a said the sweat thing first, He’d a seen we needed more than twelve hours a daylight.”
Another bite, more chewing and swallowing, and “You know what’ll happen if you say what I said to yore maw?”
Emerson knew.
Late in the afternoon, as they turned furrows across a recently cleared field, Emerson walked in front of Paw with his hands up on the handles in front of his father’s. The plowshare jammed into tree roots that hadn’t been dug out, and the chain traces snapped. Paw said some words Emerson had never heard before.
Before Paw took him, Emerson stayed around the house, did lessons with Maw and chores for her. He gathered eggs, fed the pigs and chickens, hoed weeds in the garden, and entertained his baby brother, John. And he asked her about words he didn’t understand when he did his readings in the Bible. It never occurred to him to ask Paw the meaning of a word. At supper after that first day in the field, as she was about to serve cobbler, he asked his mother about the new words he’d heard.
“Emerson!” Maw screeched and dropped the dessert pan, which set baby John to howling.
She left the mess on the floor, grabbed Emerson by the arm, dragged him over to the counter where she washed dishes, soaped up a dishrag, and scrubbed his lips and tongue. Eight years later, Emerson’s taste buds still remembered that lye soap in his mouth. And, too, his buttocks had never forgotten Paw’s belt whipping them just short of bleeding, which had happened first thing in the field the next morning. Never mind the words he’d asked about had come from Paw’s tongue, passed through his lips, though Maw thought they came from the boys Emerson hung around with after church services.
Prior to his tenth birthday, Emerson talked to Maw about all manner of things. Meanings of words from his daily reading in the Bible being one of them, but once he became Paw’s field hand, he was afraid to say much to her. Besides, John—he was named after the disciple Jesus loved, not the baptizer—was beginning to say words, and Maw acted like it was a full-time job speaking with him. And it was John she carried and later walked hand in hand with every day, rain or shine, to the white-picket-fenced-off plot behind the house to pray over the four small wooden crosses.
1 1 1 1
8 8 8 8
A B E L R U T H I S A A C D A N I E L
4 4 4 5
4 6 8 0
Maw never spoke of those four little ones to Emerson. He wondered if she spoke to John about them.
*
The smell of breakfast meat in the skillet woke Emerson. Bacon. And potatoes and eggs fried in the grease.
Emerson got up and trekked to the outhouse. It was the same way every morning began since those first couple of days almost eight years ago. Whenever he thought about it, which wasn’t often, he expected every morning to start that way far ahead as he could see. The only thing that might change was what happened to John after his tenth birthday. Of course, he knew Paw’s rules were not like the commandments, written on stone tablets and applying to everyone. Maw was awfully attached to John. She wouldn’t have any more babies. Emerson heard the women talking when he’d been nine, John was an infant, and the women were there for Wednesday tea and cake.
Emerson wondered what would happen to his brother as he walked to and from the outhouse. His days were filled with working, eating, shaving, sleeping, and not much wondering. John’s future would unfold soon enough.
Emerson washed his hands in the basin on the porch and went inside.
“Tuesday,” Maw remarked as she placed the coffeepot on the trivet on the table between Paw and Emerson.
She kept track of the days of the week and looked forward to Wednesday with her circle of women friends and especially to Sunday. Paw saw Sunday approaching and worked Emerson and himself harder to make up for losing a whole day in the field.
“Say the blessing,” she said.
Emerson did and then poured a cup for Paw and one for himself.
Paw sipped, replaced the cup on the saucer, leaned back as if he had all the time in the world, and stared at Emerson with a funny little smile on his face. Paw had never acted like this before. Emerson sat forward. He noticed some gray hairs above his father’s ears in the black hair Maw kept cut short. That smile of his crinkled up a passel of wrinkles at the corners of his eyes. He couldn’t understand how those things had happened to his father without him noticing. Emerson gulped a mouthful of coffee.
“Boy,” Paw said. “Time for you to get married.”
Emerson snorted coffee out his nose and set to coughing.
Paw rounded the table and pounded him on the back. Maw ran from the sink, drying her hands on her apron.
When the coughing fit quit, Maw wiped up the table with a flour sack dish towel. Paw told him to take a bath, cut a handful of flowers from the garden, put on his go-to-church clothes, and call on Deborah Simmons.
“You court her ever’ day until Saturday. Saturday’s yore weddin’ day.”
As Paw grinned at him, Emerson thought of the gaggle of young men that huddled after church services to size up the girls. The less attractive ones were characterized finally as “Least she ain’t plain as Deborah Simmons.” In that moment, Emerson saw himself as the laughingstock of Terre Haute—hell, the entire state of Indiana—and for the rest of his life.
“Deborah Simmons! For Christ’s sake, Paw!”
Maw slapped the back of his head for blaspheming, and Paw clouded like a July thunderstorm boiling up, a living mountain high as heaven and full of black anger flashing fire.
Paw said go, so Emerson went.
Emerson had no idea Paw coveted the Simmons farm, but it was plain as could be that’s what it was. Leastwise, now it was plain.
The Simmonses were a hard-luck bunch. Well, they used to be a bunch.
The Simmonses had three boys: Amos, Bartholomew, and Casper. And they had Deborah.
A few years back, when the oldest Simmons boy, Amos, didn’t come in from the field for midday dinner, the middle son, Bartholomew, went looking and found him lying next to a stump he’d been digging out. Amos had a hole from a musket ball over his heart. Around the hole a patch of shirt had burned. Bartholomew fetched his paw.
“Had his hands up when the bastard shot him,” Old Man Simmons grumbled.
“Amos’s hands are at his side,” the youngest, Casper, pointed out.
“That’s how he fell. Look at his shirt,” Old Man Simmons barked. “Musket bore was touching his chest when it was fired. If a gun barrel was to your chest, wouldn’t you raise your hands?”
Bartholomew picked up a tattered, rotted boot, the loose sole of which was tied to the toe with a rag. “Shot Amos for his boots.”
A mile to the west of the Wabash River, the Simmons men caught up to a skinny man with wild gray whiskers and black eyes with no soul in them. He was dressed in rags held together with twine. Wore nice boots, though. He also had a pair of draft horses tethered next to his camp. It was the team Amos had been using to pull chopped loose stumps.
They hanged the man. But only after Old Man Simmons had them tie the man’s arms to the workhorses and pull until one came off at the shoulder.
A year later, Casper found the remains of Bartholomew in the woods near the edge of the field he’d been planting. By the sign, it appeared Bart had gone in the woods to relieve himself, without taking the shotgun with him, and stumbled across a bear and two cubs.
Casper started having nightmares. He was unable to sleep at night. He could not close his eyes without seeing Bartholomew with his belly torn open, his guts strung across the ground, and his face ripped off, and seeing, also, a one-armed man hanging from a White Oak tree. Only after a rooster crowed could he slip into a semblance of sleep. One morning, Old Man Simmons found his last son in the barn. He’d hanged himself.
Shortly after that, Mrs. Simmons died. “Of a broken heart,” people said.
“I’m a dead man, my own self,” Old Man Simmons told people. “My body just don’t know it yet.”
Simmons had had enough of farming in Indiana. He intended to ride west. All the way. “Until the Pacific Ocean tells me I cain’t go no further.” He had to get his remaining child, Deborah, settled first, though.
It was clear as could be, all right. After Emerson married Deborah, Paw would add the Simmons farm to his own. Doubling his acreage.
Double the work too, Emerson thought as he rode the riding horse across fields to the Simmons place. Working as his father’s field hand, or draft animal, or slave, or whatever he was had been hard enough with the smaller farm. Then he pictured what people would say when they found out he was marrying Deborah.
“Maybe, Horse,” he mumbled to the beast carrying him, “Paw’ll work me to death, and it’ll be over soon.”
As he looped the reins of the riding horse around the porch post, Deborah stepped out of the house. Emerson held the flowers out to her. “Take ’em,” Old Man Simmons growled. “Take ’em inside. Put ’em in a vase. With water.”
Deborah had her brown hair in a bun, like old women did. Her face wasn’t hard to look at, but it was not a happy face. She glared at Emerson, snatched the flowers, and went back inside the house.
Mr. Simmons told Emerson to take one of the chairs on the porch and asked him a few questions about his maw and paw and the Sharp farm. Then he was out of words. Deborah returned and sat in the remaining chair between her father and Emerson. Her lips were pressed tight together into a straight line. Words weren’t going to escape through those lips. The silence sat uncomfortable and heavy on the porch. Emerson couldn’t dredge up a thing to say, though. Old Man Simmons sat there, leaning back, his legs stretched out in front of him, and chewed on a straw. After an hour, Deborah went inside to dish up midday dinner. Her father and Emerson turned his horse loose in the corral and washed up.
The meal was silent too, except for the clinking of silverware on pots and dishes. The two men cleaned their plates off while she pushed pieces of pot roast around hers with her fork as if the meat made her angry.
After dessert, the men returned to the porch while Deborah cleaned up. When she returned to the porch, Mr. Simmons said, “I got work. You two sit here.”
They sat. She didn’t say a word. He was tongue-tied. After a time of just sitting there, he glanced at her.
She seemed to throw off a chill, like when a person stood next to a block of ice. At the same time, he thought the anger showing on her face was as hot as a red horseshoe with a blacksmith whanging away at it. She wasn’t ugly. He was sure she’d look better if she loosened up some, stop pressing her lips so tightly together. Those lips slashed across her face and made her nose look sharp and pointy. The sun had colored her smooth cheeks. Emerson liked the line of her jaw. He thought it might be nice to run his fingers over her cheek and along her jaw.
She turned her head, and it was as if her eyes burned a hole in him. He looked away and stared across the packed dirt yard to the barn and across the fields. Paw’s barn was visible from the porch. Emerson noted that Old Man Simmons didn’t keep his property up the way Paw did. The barn needed paint. The fence around the sty sagged with posts rotted at the base. His estimate of the amount of work to be done on Paw’s new property went up. He shook his head.
Then he noticed the fenced-off cemetery plot, just like the one on Paw’s farm. Like Paw’s, the Simmons plot had four graves too. The three boys and their mother. A lot of bad luck had visited the Simmons family. Emerson hoped all that bad luck was buried there too. Deep.
After a long time, he snuck another peek at her profile. She was as the boys at church said of her. “Plain straight up an’ down.” She was flat-chested, and that was God’s own truth.
She swung those eyes onto him again. He forced himself to not look away.
“I ’spect, Miss Deborah, you don’t want to be here neither?”
“Either,” she said.
“What?”
“‘You don’t want to be here either?’ That’s the proper way to phrase your interrogative.”
“That’s what I said.”
“The horse you rode over here has more education than you do.”
Horse had dropped a pile of biscuits in the yard before they’d taken him to the corral. He caught a whiff of the smell. Horse manure, just then, carried a more pleasant aroma than the lilac water Deborah smelled of.
You court her ever day until Saturday. Saturday’s yore weddin’ day, Paw’d said.
“This how it’s going to be, being married to you, Miss Deborah?”
“Until death do us part!”
The look on his intended’s face reminded Emerson of Paw’s bull. “A ton a pure cussed cantankerous, Bull is,” Paw said.
She went into the house and returned shortly with a book. Seated again, she opened it. A tiny smile softened her face as she settled into her reading.
He thought about asking her about the book, to read it aloud, but it was likely it would only earn him a stinging, snotty put-down. He sat up straight on his chair and wondered what had happened to the silence. Before she got her book, the quiet covered the Simmons porch with a big bunch of uncomfortableness. He felt like he had to do something to bust it apart. Now the stillness worked just the opposite way. It lay over him, sort of like when he crawled into bed on a winter night, and the comforter began to keep some of his body heat inside instead of having the cold night suck it out of him.
Silently was the best way to sit with Deborah Simmons.
At supper, Old Man Simmons asked how they were getting along.
“Better than I expected,” Deborah answered.
Mr. Simmons smiled. Emerson thought he was imagining the sun setting into that ocean out west.
When he entered the kitchen at home, Paw looked up from his book of figures he kept on the farm. “How’d you an’ Miss Deborah get along?”
“Better than I expected,” Emerson replied.
Paw smiled. It was as if Paw copied Old Man Simmons’s face exactly.
That night, sleep would not come. Emerson lay on his back and blackness poured into him through his open eyes and filled him with something that made him wonder if maggots were eating him away from the inside.
Roiling in the blackness, an image formed of tomorrow’s dinner with Deborah and her father as the old man smiled at visions of his future. The smile of his poured iodine over Emerson’s totally raw-meat soul. That vision gave way to another, and he saw himself with Deborah day after day after day. Until death do us part.
He wanted to cuss out loud. He knew the words. Some from Paw, some from the boys at church. But he couldn’t say them, not in Maw’s house. Which told him clearly that’s how it would be after the wedding. He’d live in Deborah’s house. At least, he thought, here Maw’s fond of me. At least, he thought, she used to be before Christ’s favorite disciple, John, showed up.
Emerson sighed, mumbled, “Rats!” rolled onto his side, and pulled the pillow over his head as if that could shut up the voices inside. It didn’t work. He saw the crowd of boys, how they would appear come Sunday when he looked at them from outside their circle. He heard what they’d be saying about him being married to Deborah Simmons. It grew hot under the covers, and he pushed them back.
Candace Barlow appeared in his thoughts as suddenly as a clap of thunder from a storm you didn’t know was coming. Candace. Blonde hair in a long ponytail bound with a blue ribbon that exactly matched her eyes. Creamy complexion. Always smiling, showing her white teeth through her full pink lips. And she was not flat-chested.
Thinking about her stirred him, as it always did.
He remembered last Sunday. He’d spoken with her. She was easy to talk to, and she had placed a hand on his arm as she looked right into his eyes. It made his knees weak.
“My room is the add-on one on the ground floor,” she told him.
“I’m a light sleeper,” she told him.
“Paw don’t keep no dogs no more,” she told him.
Emerson tried to swallow, but his mouth was too dry.
The Barlow place was a twenty-minute ride northeast.
Emerson felt his face smile. The smile lasted as long as the blink of a lightning bug.
He would never know how sweet being with Candace Barlow would be. Candace might already know he was engaged to Deborah. She was probably lying in her bed at that very moment thinking about who she’d flirt with on Sunday since by then Emerson would be married.
And there’s not a single solitary thing I can do about it, Emerson thought. I’m just Paw’s field hand. His slave. Another one of his draft horses.
In the blackness above his bed, there had been nothing to see. Now he was seeing his tomorrows, and all of them were bleak and filled with drudgery and sweat, and his sweat smelled like horse sweat. And he lived in the Simmons house with Deborah. And she was cold, but at the same time hot with loathing. “Till death do us part,” she’d said.
Anger flashed blinding bright behind the blackness in his eyes. It was like a nearby lightning strike. He expected to hear a clap of splitting thunder. He counted one potato, two potato.
But it was silent. He lay still and listened. It was so quiet, even the mice and cockroaches had to be asleep.
Emerson swung his legs off the bed, gathered his clothes, and picked up his boots. He stood still and listened.
Then he felt his face smile. He hadn’t been aware he’d made a decision. Sure as shooting, though, he’d made one. He was still smiling as he tiptoed, with his arms full of clothes and boots, out of his room and out the door.
As he dressed on the porch, he thought, I ain’t no consarned draft horse!